{WARNING: A bit long of a blog entry}
I always strive to make my summer vacation fulfilling. And this year's summer vacation? It's full of obvious contradictions.
Meaningful and
pointless.
Profound and
shallow.
Pleasing and
disappointing.
Exciting and
boring.
Happy and
sad.
Dead and
alive.
Day and
night. Okay,
whatever that means. But seriously, I used to take summer classes and
made my vacations useful. And because of my utter naivety, I decided not to take my practicum this summer and to focus on other non-academical things, that I thought would make me a better human being. Yeah, I'm always a boring person, so I spend my life at home, on computer shops to play LAN games, and sometimes at friends' houses. And this summer's pretty much
the same, but a slight variation. What variation? Here's my attempt to summarize my summer vacation. My stupid self, here's the rundown...
The Artist in the Making?!Not a film actor. An artist, traditional or digital artist. Someone who draws some
thing using some medium and a good volume of imagination. I told myself that I would try to improve skills in drawing, coloring and stuff. I don't want to be "professional-good", but quite good would b
e enough. But then, enemy arrives...again. The name is
LAZINESS. But then I tried to conquer it. I ended up doing some fanarts, and studying some art style and technical skill. I didn't put what I've learned in my efforts though. Everything's always
half-assed, always, always
half-assed, just like these ones:
Especially the last one, which due last June 7, I didn't finished it (the rendering is incomplete) because of
indefinite hiatuses, and the
abrupt change of mood each time I continue my work. So, the art didn't make it to the contest. I'll still finish it though, for the sake of wasted time and effort.
I remember my sempai's advice, that in the professional art world, there is no such thing as
"I'll draw when I feel like drawing. Circumstances won't permit you to rest. So draw, and draw." But I don't strive to be a professional artist, but only to inherit professional artists' traits in work. I think it has something to do with motivation, or the lack thereof.
Motivation? What/who could motivate Kej? Who knows?
The Coach Potato Evolved into a PC BumI lost interest on watching TV. I only watch very few shows nowadays. I even reduced my daily anime intake. But then, I became too sticked on the PC instead. Reading manga like there's no tomorrow, browsing weird to nonsense websites, invading forums, playing online and emulation games, etc. Yeah, I do this before, but this vacation, I spent roughly
85% of my time on front of the PC.
Eye cramps? Butt osteoporosis? Yes, I have those!
Besides Superkids and WCG /WEG on Arirang, Noctural Emissions on MAXXX, random shows on NHK and Nat Geo, I watch
Witch Yoo Hee on TV. So don't worry! I'm still on the borderline of abnormal(
geek) and extremely abnormal(
geek).
Moar Manga Though not as much as Shalnark-sama, I manage to read more manga titles this vacation. Oh, is it any good? Somehow. My
otaku-ish Spidey sense tells me it's alright to read lots of manga on vacation, so I can catch up with the latest and match up with those know-it-all suckers! Ah...
...besides the ongoing titles that I already caught up with the latest scanlations...
(Naruto, Bleach, D.Gray-man,.. blah blah blah);...I read some completed works...
(BLAME!, Battle Royale, Chobits, some one-shots and doujins); ...caught up with the latest scanlations of other titles
(Soul Eater, Hunter x Hunter, Hajime no Ippo, Nabari no Ou, Deadman Wonderland, Xblade, Nodame Cantabile, Liar Game, Doubt); ...and started reading some others.
(Air Gear, Angel Densetsu, Gintama, Kekkaishi, Mysterious Girlfriend X.)Reading these titles implies,
eye cramps. I almost died.
Everyone can learn something by reading these. Me? I've learned a lot: that a messy room doesn't mean you're useless, but maybe eccentric (
Nodame); lying can save your life (
Liar Game, Doubt); and the only way to get to the Netsphere without breaching the seemingly impossible program of the Safeguards is to find a human with the Net Terminal genes and use him/her to access the Netsphere (
BLAME!). See, I've learned a lot. And that's the good point. And another, because I read too much, I wouldn't be reading much when classes start. Just like the
wise ant or a good congressman.
The Magnificent World of Cosplay!
I've already talked much about this. Ozine Fest 08 and Mangaholix 08 are such a blast! It's quite fulfilling. Cosplay. Not a cheap and easy hobby. But real fun. You can even get to meet friends. Some can be as weird as you. Some can be as evil as you. And some can be so damn cute that you can't resist temptation and you'll eventually lost to oblivion. (And no, I don't think like this.)
Body, Mind, Heart and Soul
One of my goals this vacation is to gain weight. But damn, it's quite hard to when you always lack sleep and the summer sun's heat drains your energy. No exercise too. My mindset was okay, though it seems I sometimes space out or seem to hallucinate. Kinda freaky, but it's true. Hope my concentration gets back when classes start. Need a healthy body and mind to beat the semester stress. And I'm even planning to be a student assistant again, so more load! Haha, I'll go kill my self real slow.
*wrist-cutting EMO mode ON*
The heart. Kinda sensitive. I never felt really confused about my feelings before. It seems that the fortified lock that I use to keep these uncontrollable feelings is not enough to stop this impending burst of emotions. I dunno. I never experienced what people call 'love', but somehow, irrational thoughts flood my submissive self. You. When time comes that the lock can no longer withstand this chaos, I will pave way and do my best so that each fragments of this feeling will reach your heart.
*wrist-cutting EMO mode OFF*
I didn't get to any beaches (that sounds dirty) this vacation. I was invited by some relative once, but I refused, because I found those kind of outings,
boring. Glad I attended two (probably will be three) conventions this vacation. The smell of sweat, foam rubber, and spray paint is
so much better for feeding my soul than fresh breeze from the mountains or lively gust from the beach.
Human Relations DepartmentStatus quo. On family. Nothing's really changed. Indifference remains. Though we're still one big happy family. Most especially when
Baby Rianne was born! New life means new hope to me. She brought vitality to us.
Dynamic. On friends. Met new friends. Talk to them mostly online though. (And some of them who calls me
UKE, stop it for God's sake!) But em losing contacts to old ones. Some are really mad at me. (I met one personally, and she almost punched me for not having a cellphone.) Now come to think of it, I think I'm going to break my
"No Cellphone Legacy" already. It's been almost a year since the lost of my cellphone, and now I'm deciding to have a new one. And Kej is no picky on cellphones. I can even have a 3310 for a reasonable price. (P200 lol)
Lost. On special persons. Refer to wrist cutting EMO mode above.
Money Matters and Miscellaneous and my Messed-Up Mind are Random
Yeah, no money sucks. No summer job sucks. Being rejected for three times for summer job sucks. People responsible for Kej being rejected on the applications for three times sucks. No money sucks!!!!
I lost some of my favorite t-shirts. I can't find them. Now I will be doomed when classes starts! Why? HINT: UP Los Banos doesn't require uniform.
J-music floods my vacation soul trip. Em introduced to more bands. (e.g. Onmyouza, Aqua Timez, Chatmonchy) See, I also planned to learn to play any instruments during summer, but seriously, I don't have the patience and the talent maybe. So I just stick to my passion: listening and appreciating music. That's why I tried to expand my love for modern music. More J-music and OPM. It seems like the OPM scene is not doing well these days though. (Urbandub is the only strong remaining force in the mainstream.)
Though I'd love to make this my diary, this blog's getting really long and incoherent, so I'd cut it here. No one would even want to read this. So there. Kej's waiting for a better tomorrow...
Mood: Bittersweet
Listening to: Seimeiryoku album by Chatmonchy
Reading: Doubt manga
Watching: Witch Yoo Hee
Playing: GBA Emulator again XP
Eating: Dreams
Drinking: Brain juice 
8. 
